"Every mouth you’ve ever kissed
was just practice
all the bodies you’ve ever undressed
and ploughed in to
were preparing you for me.
i don’t mind tasting them in the
memory of your mouth
they were a long hall way
a door half open
a single suit case still on the conveyor belt
was it a long journey?
Did it take you long to find me?
You’re here now,
"I know we are the same when I look into your eyes. And at 20 I am genuinely frightened that I can write down more things I hate about myself than like. And when you touch me over and over I know you can hear my shaky breathing fearing that this will be the beginning or end of everything. When you kiss me over and over my mouth goes numb. Half of my brain is telling me to calm down, but the other half whispers “What is this?” I’ve never been on a plane before, but in your eyes I see all the places you could take me. I know we are both frightened of things we do not know, but for once in my life I’m willing to let this grow. I am a mixed up individual stitched together of self doubt and second choice. So don’t be surprised if at 5am I push closer to you, remembering when my bed felt as cold as the blade I pushed into myself begging for someone to look at me the way you do now. And I’ve started wearing this ring around my neck, I don’t know who it belongs to, but I think it’s supposed to remind me that things can be full circle. And I hope you know with each kiss of your neck over and over, it isn’t just a “I want you” it’s a “I promise.” I promise to adore you on the days where you can’t even look in the mirror, I promise to push myself going above and beyond what you deserve, I promise to find more words to sum up what you make me feel besides beautiful. I don’t know what normal intimacy is, but I think me taking your hand was the first step in being led in the right direction. So please remember when you think about losing me, my heart will never stop finding you, over and over."
"Every mouth you’ve ever kissed was just practice. All the bodies you’ve ever undressed and ploughed in to were preparing you for me. I don’t mind tasting them in the memory of your mouth.
Was it a long journey? Did it take you long to find me?
You’re here now, welcome home."